Hello! My name is Jess. I'm pretty terrible at this whole introduction thing, but here it goes. I'm currently 26, barely an adult but I swear I'm an old lady at heart. I've been married a little over a year to an absolutely wonderful man, we reside in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and have no [...]
Everything happens for a reason?
There's something that has been weighing heavy on my mind, and it's the quote everything happens for a reason. I used to strongly believe this, even when my dad committed suicide, I still believed this whole heartedly. I believed everything truly had a reason, the world would make things happen in a perfect but chaotic [...]
Yet here I am,
You know when you talk to a parent and they say they don't know what they would do if something happened to one of their kids? Or when they say they would die if something happened to one of their babies? Or when someone says I'm so strong for getting through this? Or when someone [...]
Anger.
I'll keep this short. Today, I'm angry. I'm so fucking angry. I'm angry she's gone. I'm angry we are living this reality, having to make all these decisions on how to move forward, what to do now, when to plan for her brother or sister. We shouldn't have to be doing this. This is all [...]
Guilt.
Guilt is a strong word. It's a word I've become so familiar with in the almost 4 months since Hayden has been gone, for so many reasons. I've struggled with feeling guilty, feeling like it's all my fault. I've been working on that though, it's a daily battle. My therapist is really helpful with this, [...]
Hayden’s Story
I feel like I wrote this 1000 times before posting it anywhere. I've shared it on Instagram but also wanted it here. I want it documented forever, everywhere, to make sure her story is never forgotten, make sure she is never forgotten. In the beginning, Cody and I always knew we wanted kids. We want [...]
This life that is my reality
I have a secret, a very vulnerable thing to say. The other day I had a complete and total meltdown by myself in the car, in a parking lot of a closed business for probably 30 minutes. All I did was go to get new tags for my husbands car, long story short the “drive [...]
The story of us
You know how so many people have those adorable stories of how they met their significant other? When they bumped into someone at the grocery store or stood in line behind the person at the coffee shop, those are always so heart warming. My husband and I don't have one of those super cute stories, [...]